Is Simping Good or Bad? | Two Sides of One Coin

Love involves selflessness. But putting another’s needs before your own is one thing (and a noble one). Throwing your self-respect in the dumpster is another. You may be “simping” for somebody.

The concept has been around for a long time but has recently become a social media buzzword. Many use it to describe people going above and beyond for someone they’re interested in. There’s nothing wrong with prioritizing someone, per se. However, harmless behavior can quickly become toxic.

So, is simping a good thing or total bad news? Let’s look at both sides of the coin before concluding.

What Is Simping?

Before we get to the argument, context matters.

The term doesn’t have an official dictionary entry as of writing, so let’s go by the Urban Dictionary explanation, which is “doing too much for somebody.”

To simp is to excessively fawn over someone or exert extreme effort to impress or win them over.

The Evolution of a Term

The term is internet slang, but the concept (or at least a variation) is over 100 years old. The New York Times reported that they first used it back in 1923 as a contracted version of “simpleton,” which was code for calling someone stupid.

When the 80s rolled in, the definition changed. From calling out stupidity, it became a descriptor for overly eager people pursuing romantic interests. Hip-hop artist Too Short told The New York Times that the meaning still holds today.

TikTok popularized it in 2020. #Simp has over 3 billion views, with some making it a meme. While some content creators treated their posts as jokes, others presented them as cautionary tales.

Signs of Simp Behavior

Have you been called a simp? It might seem like a harmless joke, but it’s worth asking whether it’s true.

Simp behavior is heavily associated with men, but that doesn’t mean it’s exclusive to them. There is such a thing as a female simp, so avoid hasty generalizations.

We’ve got the definition of a simp down, so let’s learn the signs of such behavior. Check to see whether you observe them in yourself.

Excessive spending

Ah, money—easy to spend, hard to gain. Shelling out too much of it on someone who’s practically a stranger is simp behavior. You don’t know this person well, so you can’t guess their intentions from the get-go (unless they’re being too obvious).

Whether it’s one of the ladies on Craigslist before the site’s demise or an online match, keep tabs on your wallet. Think twice before mindlessly pulling out your dollar bills. Your accounts will thank you for your foresight.

Constant messaging

Checking in on someone is one thing. But if you keep messaging despite the absence of replies, that should be a sign that something’s wrong.

If they haven’t replied, they won’t suddenly do so now. That should be enough to tell you things are headed nowhere with that person. You can’t just keep chatting and hope they come to their senses.

You deserve someone better, and you have things to do. Your patience will only wear thin if you wait for someone who isn’t even there in the first place.

Over-accommodation

We always want to make our loved ones happy. We try to be as accommodating and understanding as possible. But if you’re revolving your schedule around a particular person and can’t say no to them, you’re likely spreading yourself too thin.

Don’t cancel your plans just to prioritize theirs. Just because you’re catching feelings doesn’t mean you should turn your world upside down for them. While it’s natural to desire more time with a romantic interest, it shouldn’t come at the cost of others or your happiness.

Unrealistic perceptions

People naturally view their romantic interests in a positive light. For example, the men who met women on Craigslist in its heyday thought those ladies were much better than the ones they knew in real life.

However, everyone has flaws. Even the people you match with online have things they don’t like about themselves. Put down the rose-colored glasses and swap them for clearer lenses. Putting people on a pedestal will only set you up for disappointment.

Dismissal of red flags

Continuing from the previous sign, we’ll say this: some flaws are more critical than others. What you think are mere imperfections may turn out to be dangerous black marks.

As much as you want to be with your romantic interest, you shouldn’t overlook red flags. Give them the benefit of the doubt, but don’t keep your blinders on. What you may brush off now may affect a potential future—and not in a good way.

Simping Can Be Good

Let’s get to the article’s main point. We’ll discuss both sides for better clarity and understanding. Let’s start with the pros, shall we?

People simp because they want connection—one of man’s long-standing desires. It’s their way of reaching out and interacting with others (in this case, romantic interests). When you approach this healthily, such behavior can help build relationships.

It can also be a confidence booster when you know your presence positively affects your person of affection. This spike can make you extra motivated when going about your days.

But with the Good Comes the Bad

Engaging in simp behavior can make you lose your sense of self.

A study by Ho (2023) pointed out that simps tend to be insecure beings with low self-esteem. They bank on others for validation and approval, allowing their identity to go down the drain. And with that, they're more vulnerable to manipulation.

Ever eager to please, you may be willing to sacrifice your boundaries. The other person can pick up on that, take advantage, and wring you dry until there’s nothing left to benefit from.

The Verdict

Considering all these points, simping is generally regarded as bad behavior. Anything in excess isn’t good for anyone, and simps illustrate that. This entry should assist you in drawing the line and perhaps even making some changes in yourself.

While love involves selflessness, a healthy relationship also comprises respect and reciprocity. A Foreign Affair can help you make new connections and find this balance. This way, you’ll have more fulfilling interactions and, overall, a positive dating experience.

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Reference

Ho, Daniel. 2023. “The (Simp)le Truth About Excessive & Obsessive Romantic Behaviors in Men.” Institutional Knowledge at Singapore Management University. https://ink.library.smu.edu.sg/etd_coll/516/.

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